This is so true and so hard. How most of them deny it.

Abusers and Denial by Phil Creek.
Often times when an adult survivor of child abuse begins to come to terms with the wrongs done to them, they will confront their abuser in an effort to deal with the emotions and consequences that arose from the abuse. In many cases, the abuser will deny any of the abuse, even if it’s in a private conversation where both parties know full well what was done. An abuser will often call their adult child a liar or insist they have mental problems when they are confronted with the things they did to their child in younger years.

In many other cases, if the abuser acknowledges the wrongs and abuse they put their child thru, they tell the child to “get over it” or “stop living in the past” not realizing that the abuse and the consequences of the abuse they inflicted is with the
survivor every day for the rest of the survivor’s life. Indeed, many abusers will NEVER acknowledge what they did or accept being responsibility for the consequences or the ways in which the abuse they committed affected their child’s life thru adult-hood. It’s very difficult to attempt closure or be able to come to terms with the effects of abuse thru confronting an abusive parent when this is the case. Feelings of anger, frustration and resentment are often experienced by a survivor when dealing with an abuser who will not even acknowledge the wrongs and abuses they committed.

Another factor in dealing with abuser denial is that often times the abuser is respected or viewed as an “upstanding person” in the other facets of their life. The abusive parent has a further vested interest in portraying the survivor as a “problem child” making up stories with false accusations of abuse. Indeed an abusive parent will often invent stories about their child in an effort to discredit anything the adult survivor of child abuse might say to friends or other family members. This often begins early in the survivor’s life, especially if the survivor goes to another family member about the abuse. Some abusers go so far as to stage situations where they have their adult child arrested or committed in an effort to make the survivor look less credible or believable, this can be especially true with male survivors of child abuse.
Phil Creek

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